Why is it that something good only lasts for a little??

Today I went out to see the kids.Mathew knew I was coming,i spoke to him on m.s.n last night and asked if it was ok to come out.He said yes.So I did.
Before i went I made choch chip pancakes for them. I dont think they knew I was coming, I did ask him not to tell them. When I got there Dusatn and Jade were in the livinroom, Kory was in his room on the game.Mathew answered the door and I went in and seen Dust first.I asked " did u eat?" NO he said. I told him "i have pancakes, want some?" He tried not to smile, but he did and came to the kitchen and made up a plate. Mathew told Kory to come get some,Kory didnt believe him there was pancakes saying " u never make pancakes!!" lol....we all had a laugh!!
After Dust ate I went out to the car and took in the Easter baskets I brought out for them. Jade and Dust were in th living room and opened them. I told Kory to "come out, ur missin all the fun!" He came out and opened his too.I put the sneaker spray and deoideriser in their baskets. Dustan commented on the spray, asking "whats this for??" Kory said " do u think My feet small???" ( I hadent taken in their new sneakers at this point so they were a little baffled why they has foot spray in their baskets!! hahaha"
I got up from the chair and said "oh ya...just a min!" then went out to the car and brought their new sneakers in. ( plannin it all along!! heheheeh)
Dustan said "I just got new sneakers with Nanny Kean?" I told him I knew he did,but i coulndnt get new ones for Kory and not him. He smiled! They tried them on and they fit! Perfect!! :)
I told Jade "thats why I got u flip-flops! She smiled.
We were out on the deck for most of my visit,chattin about school, memories, school more memories and whatever else came up.Dustan went and got a shower to try his new body wash and calone i got him.He put on his new shirt too.But didnt want to put on his new shoes yet.Kory came out of his room and sprayed his sneakers and so did jade and Dust. Jade went in the bathroom and put on the new shirt i gave her for easter. :)!!!
I went into Korys room and spent some time with him.He was playing the game. We taked about school.I told hin i went to see his teachers on parent teacher and how they were proud of him.I asked about the artist coming to the school and he told me he was excited about him coming.
Around 3:30 I had to leave (cramps from aunt flow were gettin the better of me and no midol in my purse) Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was in such a happy place (and could tell the kids were too) it was a struggle to have to go.:(
B4 I left Dustan wanted to know if i seen his new T.V (I did when i was sittin with Kory but went with him anyway) He took me in the room and showed me. I was impressed! I asked if he bought a monster cable for it? He said "yes" I told him it was really nice.
I told them I loved them,and I was soo happy to see them. They smiled with agreeance.and thanked me for everything. I sadly walked down the steps and got in my car and drove off.
As i drove the pain from the cramps was takin full effect.Adrelin must have been overdrive because as soon as i leat they hit full forse.I barley got to joels without passing out from the pain of them. I took 3 midol and curled up in the fetal position waiting for them to kick in.
I passed out from the pain or the pills, which ever it was it was a blessing. I awoke to Joel coming home at 5:40.
It was so nice that we decided to go for a drive.I couldnt stop talking about my day.I was on cloud nine! He was so hapy for me.I was happy for the kids.
While in town I herd Joel say "Oh,no,baby,he just drove by!!" " and hes turning around!" Bubble Burst!!!!!
We tried to turn but it was too late. Mathew,Dustan and Jade seen us and Mathew was going to make sure The kids seen! He (mathew) pulled in front of Joel and I so Dustan seen us.Dustan gave me the finger. Wish I could have herd what mathew was was saying...but I had a pretty good idea.
All I can think now is that the beautiful day I had with them is no more.
I left Joels,scared if mathew came lookin for me it would be better if I was at my place instead of Joels. I know Joel feels bad,I do too.My poor kids. A real man would have driven bye and let my kids have the memorie of the day we had together continue.Insted he had to share his disaprovable of me and someone other than him with the kids.
I cant win,neither can they when hes stearing the ship.

Its been 3 years now.....god this will never end!!