This month will be a year since I have had eather of my children with me.Mabie that milestone has something to do with how I have been feeling, mabie its just that Im miserable without them ,period!
Usually for Easter we go to a big family dinner,last year was the first year i went alone, and it was hell to try and keep the fake smile on my face being there without eather of my boys,everyone commented on how helpfull i was in the kitchen...really I was just there because with my back turned to everyone.. doing dishes.... no one could see my tears of emptyness.
This year (thankfully) there are no planned festivities. I have bought gifts for both Dustan and Kory and for Jade,and am planning on going out to try and see them on sunday and deliver them to them in person (lets hope it goes as good as it did at christmas).I hope it does,i need to at least see them.I feel like im going crazy without them ,little by little.
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