Mom called me today around 5pm. She decided to go out to the trailor to see the boys.
She said she met Mathew driving by her on the way out.
When she got there the Kids were there and they told her Mathew just left.
They went to Subway and then went and got Nanny Ellsworth for an ice cream.(I went to her house earlier this morning to change a light bulb in her bedroom for her).
Mom told me she stopped at Walmart for Dust ,and Kory went in for him and got on line cards for the PS3 for him.
She told me she asked them how she could call them and Dust told her that she would have to waite till they went to a friends house to call her.(this just proves that they dont have a phone at the trailor)He told her that he was going to try and call he before she arived out today.
I wish I would have had some treats made up for them b4 mom went to see them today.I will have to make some up and put them in the frezzer so the next time she goes out I can give them to her and she can give them to them.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
just another day
Nothing new to post really,just wanted to make an entry.
I spent most of the day on Sat with Yvonne ,Olivia and J.I went to watch he play her fist game of soccoer (it was a social gathering for her! :) )Then I met them at thier houe and J helped me to lay George to rest.
One Sunsday (mothers Day) I decided that I needed to think up something new to do with Mom for Mothers Day since the Boys arnt with me any more.So I decided that joining Mom at church would be her perfect gift.
I met her there and could see the happines in her face when she saw me.I was a fitting service for families and brought a tear to my eyes more than once(even tho Im not a religious person).
Mom asked me down to her house for dinner(first time i was there since Gary put her out....I bit my toung and agreeded to go...for her) I was happy to spend some time with her together.I even got to see her on the treadmill :) and she set up the MP3 player I gave her for mothers day so she will have music when shes on it.
I worked at 7 on monday at the hos.I called Donnie at 6:45 and takkled to Layne for a min b4 i went in to work(he had just picked them up at the airport.
Today I decided i needed to get my car in to the garage to get the wheel baring replaced.Joel took me to drop it off.I went to work at the mill around 5:30 and tried to call Mike on the way there but he was at his moms for dinner.On my way home from the mill I had a yearning to see the Boys so I went out to the trailor.Mathew wasent home(no car in the driveway) I knoched on the door...no answer(I could hear the Boys inside) but neather one came to the door.I did hear Dustans voice but couldnt tell what he said. I could see Kork on the comp through the window as I was walking down the steps.I dont know if he was on line or just on a game on the comp itself.I nocked at the window and said I love you ,but he ignored me as i said it walking down the steps.I said I love you again as I walked by the back bedroom window,no response.I got in my car and left the park.
It plays with my mind every second of the day to think that they are there every night alone.I know that they are smart, responsable,good Boys,But i cant help to be worried.I know that I worie about them being there alone...but...I am also Sooooooooo proud of how responsable they have been. They are soooooo young to be home alone with out anything happening.I am VERY PROUD of them!!!!! I know they want everyone to see how can "take care of themselves " but I know in my heart...they still need what MOM can give them! I MISS making them supper,and sitting at the table and sharing it with them.I miss hearing about their day at school.I misss teling them to brush their teeth b4 bed.And most of all I miss Tucking them in as their day comes to an end and telling them how much I love them.
I miss them soooooooooooooooooooo much,and Jade too.
I will wake up tomorrow but I will not be the me I should,why...because the ones I truly love will not be near.I still love you tho,no matter what.That will never change...EVER. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Jade,Dustan..Kory
I spent most of the day on Sat with Yvonne ,Olivia and J.I went to watch he play her fist game of soccoer (it was a social gathering for her! :) )Then I met them at thier houe and J helped me to lay George to rest.
One Sunsday (mothers Day) I decided that I needed to think up something new to do with Mom for Mothers Day since the Boys arnt with me any more.So I decided that joining Mom at church would be her perfect gift.
I met her there and could see the happines in her face when she saw me.I was a fitting service for families and brought a tear to my eyes more than once(even tho Im not a religious person).
Mom asked me down to her house for dinner(first time i was there since Gary put her out....I bit my toung and agreeded to go...for her) I was happy to spend some time with her together.I even got to see her on the treadmill :) and she set up the MP3 player I gave her for mothers day so she will have music when shes on it.
I worked at 7 on monday at the hos.I called Donnie at 6:45 and takkled to Layne for a min b4 i went in to work(he had just picked them up at the airport.
Today I decided i needed to get my car in to the garage to get the wheel baring replaced.Joel took me to drop it off.I went to work at the mill around 5:30 and tried to call Mike on the way there but he was at his moms for dinner.On my way home from the mill I had a yearning to see the Boys so I went out to the trailor.Mathew wasent home(no car in the driveway) I knoched on the door...no answer(I could hear the Boys inside) but neather one came to the door.I did hear Dustans voice but couldnt tell what he said. I could see Kork on the comp through the window as I was walking down the steps.I dont know if he was on line or just on a game on the comp itself.I nocked at the window and said I love you ,but he ignored me as i said it walking down the steps.I said I love you again as I walked by the back bedroom window,no response.I got in my car and left the park.
It plays with my mind every second of the day to think that they are there every night alone.I know that they are smart, responsable,good Boys,But i cant help to be worried.I know that I worie about them being there alone...but...I am also Sooooooooo proud of how responsable they have been. They are soooooo young to be home alone with out anything happening.I am VERY PROUD of them!!!!! I know they want everyone to see how can "take care of themselves " but I know in my heart...they still need what MOM can give them! I MISS making them supper,and sitting at the table and sharing it with them.I miss hearing about their day at school.I misss teling them to brush their teeth b4 bed.And most of all I miss Tucking them in as their day comes to an end and telling them how much I love them.
I miss them soooooooooooooooooooo much,and Jade too.
I will wake up tomorrow but I will not be the me I should,why...because the ones I truly love will not be near.I still love you tho,no matter what.That will never change...EVER. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Jade,Dustan..Kory
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Saying good bye is never easy,even when its the right thing to do.
Today wasent the best day. I had to say good bye to George today. I have been hoping he would get better but I knew in my heart that he wouldnt. Its been over 3 weeks now since I had him into the vet and been on antibotics.
I called Yvonne and asked if she would be able to come with me when I took him in,she said "of course" It wasent easy. One thing that helped was that the doctor assured me that it wasent an absess like we originally assumed and had treated. It was obvious to the Dr. that it was a tumor.She set my mind at ease when she told me there really wasent anything that could be done for him.So even tho I hated to put him to sleep I knew for sure that I couldnt help him get better no matter how much money I spent.
Yvonne offered to burry him at her place.This made me feel better too because I was worried about that since I rent. I am going to take him out tomorrow to her house.I have a big rock that Dustan took home one day when he was at the bridge swimming.He thought he seen gold in it so he took it home. I am going to use it as Georges grave stone.
Its not going to be the same going to bed.Its already too quiet here now. No matter how late I stayed up,he always waited for me to go to bed until he went, and he would stay in bed with me till I got up,no matter how late that was eather. :)
I will miss U Georgie. Love u Big Guy, You were a Good Boy! xoxoxoxoxo
I called Yvonne and asked if she would be able to come with me when I took him in,she said "of course" It wasent easy. One thing that helped was that the doctor assured me that it wasent an absess like we originally assumed and had treated. It was obvious to the Dr. that it was a tumor.She set my mind at ease when she told me there really wasent anything that could be done for him.So even tho I hated to put him to sleep I knew for sure that I couldnt help him get better no matter how much money I spent.
Yvonne offered to burry him at her place.This made me feel better too because I was worried about that since I rent. I am going to take him out tomorrow to her house.I have a big rock that Dustan took home one day when he was at the bridge swimming.He thought he seen gold in it so he took it home. I am going to use it as Georges grave stone.
Its not going to be the same going to bed.Its already too quiet here now. No matter how late I stayed up,he always waited for me to go to bed until he went, and he would stay in bed with me till I got up,no matter how late that was eather. :)
I will miss U Georgie. Love u Big Guy, You were a Good Boy! xoxoxoxoxo
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Not how I wanted to see the kids. :(
I have been having a real hard time making this decision. Its not an easy one even tho its the only one i can make. Poor George isent getting any better with his absess.hes been on 3 different antibotics over the last 3 weeks now and none seem to be helping him.I have spoke to the vet and to have his tooth removed will cost between 400 to 1200 dollars. It breaks my heart to think it comes down to money but it does.I have already spent over 300 on his meds and soft food (which is what caused the prob to begin with I believe). I cant see him suffer for much longer.He loosing weight and is having a hard time eating.
On sat afternoon I decided to take him over to the trailor so that the Boys could see him. When I got there mathews car wasent there,but the kids were home.I nocked at the door then opened it.Kory was there in the kitchen and rolled his eyes and walked into the living room. I followed him and told him why I was there.I told him that George wasent geting any better and I had him with me because I thought they would want to see him because they might not have a chance to again.He just looked at me with out saying a word.
I asked if Dustan was in the bed room and he said he was. I went in and Dust said " oh my god" (with scarcasim) I told him I wasent there for me I was there so they could see George. I told Dust what I had told Kory and said "Ill wait in the car for a bit if u want to see him" Kory said immeadiatly "take him in and leave him here for a bit and you go" I said right away "ok" kory looked up at me as if surprised i agreed.I went out and took George in.I reminded Kory that he might be a little scared till he remembered where he was so I told him to talk to him so he could hear his voice. I went and told Dust I would be back in an hour to pick him back up and he said "ok".
I came back home and waited till 4 to go get him.At 4 I headed back to the trailor praying Mathew would still be away and he was.When i got there kory was still on the couch but George was sitting on the chair.I asked kory if he spent time with him? He said he tried but he wouldnt stay on the couch.I took George over and sat there with Kory and we patted him together.I told him that when he left my house George stayed under the chair in the living room for almost 3 months.I told him George loved him, he said he did too. I took him in to see Dust. I asked him if he seen him.He told me " when u wernt here i did" I took George up and sat on the bed with Dust.Dustan looked at me and said " why dont u just take him to the vet and fix him!" I told him i have been trying but hes not getting better. He questioned me and said " they must be able to do something?" I told him " I know it sounds mean Dust, but I just dont have the amount of money it costs" he asked how much and i told him. I told him that I was having a hard time thinking about having to put him to sleep,but i told him " its not right to let him be in pain or to let him be hungry" George was sitting right beside him and he was patting him.I apoligized to him that this was happening but I told him I understood how he felt because I was sad too.
Kory asked dustan for him camera but dust said it was in the car.I told Kory that i sent him pis of him and George on hotmail.He said "we dont have the internet" I said it was ok ,i still have the pics any time he wanted them.(I also noticed that the T.V was off too.It was off even when i was there dropping george off. I think that the phone was cut off now because mathew has the bundle with phone ,internet,and cable,it makes sence now that I know its not just the phone thats not in service).
I picked up george and let the kids give him one last pat then told them I loved them and that George did too. Then I left for home.
The worst part of the whole visit was that I couldnt hug them.I know my boys and if all this nasty, hatefull,mean, brainwashing, hadent been done to them by mathew, I would have been able to be there for them if they wanted to talk about it ,and hug them. I am happy i had the chance to take him over so they could see him without mathew being there because i know he wouldnt have let me in if he was home.
Its sad,we have ALWAYS had pets.The kids have always been animal lovers and now they have none. :(
On sat afternoon I decided to take him over to the trailor so that the Boys could see him. When I got there mathews car wasent there,but the kids were home.I nocked at the door then opened it.Kory was there in the kitchen and rolled his eyes and walked into the living room. I followed him and told him why I was there.I told him that George wasent geting any better and I had him with me because I thought they would want to see him because they might not have a chance to again.He just looked at me with out saying a word.
I asked if Dustan was in the bed room and he said he was. I went in and Dust said " oh my god" (with scarcasim) I told him I wasent there for me I was there so they could see George. I told Dust what I had told Kory and said "Ill wait in the car for a bit if u want to see him" Kory said immeadiatly "take him in and leave him here for a bit and you go" I said right away "ok" kory looked up at me as if surprised i agreed.I went out and took George in.I reminded Kory that he might be a little scared till he remembered where he was so I told him to talk to him so he could hear his voice. I went and told Dust I would be back in an hour to pick him back up and he said "ok".
I came back home and waited till 4 to go get him.At 4 I headed back to the trailor praying Mathew would still be away and he was.When i got there kory was still on the couch but George was sitting on the chair.I asked kory if he spent time with him? He said he tried but he wouldnt stay on the couch.I took George over and sat there with Kory and we patted him together.I told him that when he left my house George stayed under the chair in the living room for almost 3 months.I told him George loved him, he said he did too. I took him in to see Dust. I asked him if he seen him.He told me " when u wernt here i did" I took George up and sat on the bed with Dust.Dustan looked at me and said " why dont u just take him to the vet and fix him!" I told him i have been trying but hes not getting better. He questioned me and said " they must be able to do something?" I told him " I know it sounds mean Dust, but I just dont have the amount of money it costs" he asked how much and i told him. I told him that I was having a hard time thinking about having to put him to sleep,but i told him " its not right to let him be in pain or to let him be hungry" George was sitting right beside him and he was patting him.I apoligized to him that this was happening but I told him I understood how he felt because I was sad too.
Kory asked dustan for him camera but dust said it was in the car.I told Kory that i sent him pis of him and George on hotmail.He said "we dont have the internet" I said it was ok ,i still have the pics any time he wanted them.(I also noticed that the T.V was off too.It was off even when i was there dropping george off. I think that the phone was cut off now because mathew has the bundle with phone ,internet,and cable,it makes sence now that I know its not just the phone thats not in service).
I picked up george and let the kids give him one last pat then told them I loved them and that George did too. Then I left for home.
The worst part of the whole visit was that I couldnt hug them.I know my boys and if all this nasty, hatefull,mean, brainwashing, hadent been done to them by mathew, I would have been able to be there for them if they wanted to talk about it ,and hug them. I am happy i had the chance to take him over so they could see him without mathew being there because i know he wouldnt have let me in if he was home.
Its sad,we have ALWAYS had pets.The kids have always been animal lovers and now they have none. :(
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