For the last few evenings I have been chattin with Korys little girlfriend Hannah.We both commented on a pic of her and Kory and the conversations started from there.
She seams like such a sweet girl. :)
Tonight I got a friends request form her. I accepted with leary thoughts.I dont want Kory to be upset.I know he has me blocked from facebook but I am a little worried if he was to find out I was friends with her he might get upset with her.I have warned her he might not like it.Im a little torn.
We will see what happens.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Sat june 26th 2010.
Today Mom was planning on going out to see the Boys. I asked her to let me know when she was going out so I could got out and take them their grading present, and the cards i got for them. We met at the bottom of the trailor court at 10:30.We drove up to the trailor and The kids looked out the bedroom window to see who it was.I waved and mouthed I Love You.I took the basket ball net and ball out of the car and layed it along side of the half finished picnic table.(that has been half done for 2 years now!)
I gave the cards to mom to give to the boys and then I gave mom a kiss and told her thanks for meeting me .She went in to see them and I left.
She took them out for a few hours and called me later in the day to tell me they had a good visit.
She told me that when Kory went outside to get in the car with mom he saw the basketball net and told Dustan "we should put it beside the trailor so no one takes it) That put a smile on my face!! I know that the first thing they probably did when they got back was get it al set up!! Just wish I could hve thrown a few hoops with them.Just glad they have it!! Something for them to do outside.
I gave the cards to mom to give to the boys and then I gave mom a kiss and told her thanks for meeting me .She went in to see them and I left.
She took them out for a few hours and called me later in the day to tell me they had a good visit.
She told me that when Kory went outside to get in the car with mom he saw the basketball net and told Dustan "we should put it beside the trailor so no one takes it) That put a smile on my face!! I know that the first thing they probably did when they got back was get it al set up!! Just wish I could hve thrown a few hoops with them.Just glad they have it!! Something for them to do outside.
Graduation June 25th 2010
Well this years graduation was another dissapointment. Mom and Nanny came to see Dustan graduate. Like last year they were a no show. Not even Jade was there. I know I hadent seen eather one of them walk in with their class but I wanted to wait to see if Mr.Boulter called eather of their names,he didnt.I dont even know if they made it into the 80's or 70's club.
I told mom I couldnt sit through any more of it because they wernt there.We got up and left. I thanked mOm and Nan for comming and we left,I went to work.
While I was going to work I looked in Rhondas driveway and sure enough her car was there.How she has no reguard for jades acompishments I will never understand.
I posted a comment the other day on my facebook congradulating the grade 8's on their grad and Jade commented on it saying "okay,well. this is from jade.
i am involved in ALL, things to do with my school.
the only reason i didnt go to grad, was because i didnt have time to get ready. i had every intention of going! i got a dress and everything. and dustan and brody.. think their to cool to go.
just thought id fill yah in. - bye."
To that I commented... "thats why I was dissapointed...I tought at least you would be there. :(
Im still proud of you reguardless !!!
I know how much effort U (and Dustan) put into ur grades...It would have been nice to see u both accept the regonition with ur peers...
Im sure all ur friends missed u and Dust.I know I did."
Seeing her comment on what I said tells me that she cares.I know They would have been there if I was still allowed to be in their life.It breaks my heart to know they are missing out on so much I would be doing for them and with my hands tied It kills me I cant do a thing about it.
I told mom I couldnt sit through any more of it because they wernt there.We got up and left. I thanked mOm and Nan for comming and we left,I went to work.
While I was going to work I looked in Rhondas driveway and sure enough her car was there.How she has no reguard for jades acompishments I will never understand.
I posted a comment the other day on my facebook congradulating the grade 8's on their grad and Jade commented on it saying "okay,well. this is from jade.
i am involved in ALL, things to do with my school.
the only reason i didnt go to grad, was because i didnt have time to get ready. i had every intention of going! i got a dress and everything. and dustan and brody.. think their to cool to go.
just thought id fill yah in. - bye."
To that I commented... "thats why I was dissapointed...I tought at least you would be there. :(
Im still proud of you reguardless !!!
I know how much effort U (and Dustan) put into ur grades...It would have been nice to see u both accept the regonition with ur peers...
Im sure all ur friends missed u and Dust.I know I did."
Seeing her comment on what I said tells me that she cares.I know They would have been there if I was still allowed to be in their life.It breaks my heart to know they are missing out on so much I would be doing for them and with my hands tied It kills me I cant do a thing about it.
PROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! June 22nd 2010
I went ot Shirlies to help her get Skylars hair done for the prom.She was so excited (wish I would have been helping Kory and Jade get ready).When she was ready I went to the school to wait for Kory.(I got a new Camera today to capture the night!! :)!!!!!
I got there early and waited to see if Kory came.He did!! I seen mathew drop him off. Deanne (a child hood friend) came over to me and asked where Kory was.I showed her and she went and got him because Hannah(korys little girlfriend) was looking for him.Deanns daughter and Hannah are best friends.(funny how the universe works sometimes.what are the ods that Korys first girlfriend is best friends with a friend of mynes daughter!!)
The look on Korys face when he seen Hannah was enough to melt my heart! His face melted like butter!! :)
I took some pictuers of them all.Deanne got them to line up so all the parents could get some pics!
Dustan didnt go to the prom.Wish he would have but I was pretty sure he wouldnt go.
I did see Jade tho.I took some pics of her too.She looked SOOOOO beautiful! We didnt talk but she saw me taking pics of her and didnt seam to mind.She even looked at me a few times and we exchanged smiles.
I left as they were going into the dance and went to work at the mill!
Happy!!! Proud!!!! Sooo Content!!
I got there early and waited to see if Kory came.He did!! I seen mathew drop him off. Deanne (a child hood friend) came over to me and asked where Kory was.I showed her and she went and got him because Hannah(korys little girlfriend) was looking for him.Deanns daughter and Hannah are best friends.(funny how the universe works sometimes.what are the ods that Korys first girlfriend is best friends with a friend of mynes daughter!!)
The look on Korys face when he seen Hannah was enough to melt my heart! His face melted like butter!! :)
I took some pictuers of them all.Deanne got them to line up so all the parents could get some pics!
Dustan didnt go to the prom.Wish he would have but I was pretty sure he wouldnt go.
I did see Jade tho.I took some pics of her too.She looked SOOOOO beautiful! We didnt talk but she saw me taking pics of her and didnt seam to mind.She even looked at me a few times and we exchanged smiles.
I left as they were going into the dance and went to work at the mill!
Happy!!! Proud!!!! Sooo Content!!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Waiting for Prom and Graduation......
Not much to talk about lately.I have kept my didtance since my last visit on the 10th. I did find out today that Dustan didnt go on his class trip to Crystan Palace with the rest of the grade 8's. :(
Him and Broady stayed home. Lisa ( Broadys mother told me). I have to admit I was very disapointed when I found out.I really thought that he would be excited to go.I have to wonder if having to be at school early and needing a ride there had anything to do with it??? Guess I wont find out unless I ask mom to ask Dustan next time she sees them.
I cant wait till their Prom!! :) Kory is going with a girlfriend. I cant wait to see him,even if it is from my car.I will have to zoom in on my camera to see him.This is his first girlfriend.Im so happy for him but I cant help to feel sad because im missing out on hearing him talk about her and seeing his face full of pride.
Im also looking sooo forward to Dustans graduation on the 25th.I hope he goes to it. I am not looking forward to being there and he doesnt show up like at korys graduation from saltsprings:(. At the very least I will get to see Jade, that will put a big smile on my face!
O.K enough what ifs...and I hopes. I will just wait and see. God I MISS my kids.
Him and Broady stayed home. Lisa ( Broadys mother told me). I have to admit I was very disapointed when I found out.I really thought that he would be excited to go.I have to wonder if having to be at school early and needing a ride there had anything to do with it??? Guess I wont find out unless I ask mom to ask Dustan next time she sees them.
I cant wait till their Prom!! :) Kory is going with a girlfriend. I cant wait to see him,even if it is from my car.I will have to zoom in on my camera to see him.This is his first girlfriend.Im so happy for him but I cant help to feel sad because im missing out on hearing him talk about her and seeing his face full of pride.
Im also looking sooo forward to Dustans graduation on the 25th.I hope he goes to it. I am not looking forward to being there and he doesnt show up like at korys graduation from saltsprings:(. At the very least I will get to see Jade, that will put a big smile on my face!
O.K enough what ifs...and I hopes. I will just wait and see. God I MISS my kids.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Death Sentance
Its been quite a while since I last wrote.There hasent been alot of contact in the last month.Most of that time the phone at the trailor was cut off so I couldnt call the trailor at night like I use to.It has just been hooked up in the last two weeks.But I havent called it except for tonight.
I spoke to mathew on line two nights ago and he told me that Kory was going to the prom.At lunch tme today at work I decided to go to Zellars and get him a pair of derss pants and a dress shirt and tie for it.I went to the trailor around 5:30 to give it to him and all hell broke loose.Mathew and the kids were there,and mathew came out of the living room and started yelling at me with the same vulger phrases as always.Of corse Dustan was right in tune with him.Kory just went to the sink and started doing the dishes.I knew I should have just turned and left but I felt like i was on trial and pleading for my life.They were running me down for everything they could think of,from being a whore,being just like rhonda,being a terriable mother,telling me mom and joel paid my was and took care of me,blamed me for not giving them money,acussing me of sleeping with Mike and his father Donnie and all the men how worked at the mill.You name it ..I was called it. I just couldnt leave for some reason..I wanted to but my feet wouldnt let me.Dustan told me that he was happy I was gone because I was a "fucken shitty mother" and he was happy now because he "had the life now".I was nothing but a nagging bitch and he was glad i was gone.
I told him "someday you will look back and remember how much I fought for you both then mabie you will understan what it is to love your children" he told me "im NEVER having any, you ruined that!"
Thats when mathew told me "u think they will grow up and want to see you??? Your so wrong!! Your days are numbered!! Both of yours are!! and as soon as they(the kids) are on their own you will both get whats comming to you!!!"
I asked him what he ment(even tho I was pretty sure I knew what he ment) But again he said "your days are numbered..enjoy them together while you can!"
The whole time he was teling me this I was scared to death because i knew exactly what he ment but i wasent going to let him see it in my face.I said to him ..."what are you going to do hide in the shadows then pounce like the coward you are?? He said,calmly," no....Im not worried about getting caught, thats why im waiting till they are gone and moved out"
I looked at him and said Im calling the cops and telling them you just threatned my life.He told me go ahead..im calling them too because u are here hurassing us.
I left and thought Iif I called the police then they would call CAS and they would take the kids for sure and i couldnt make the call because they would just put them in foster care then give them back to him and the kids would blame me again with nothing being accomplished. I drove back to the trailor and told mathew "I didnt call because of CAS , they will take the kids" He said "I didnt eather" I told him " I want to Sooooo bad because you deserve it ,but the kids are the ones who will suffer yeat again and I cant do that to them" I left and went to work.
While I was at work I couldnt stop playing everything over and over in my mind. I realised what he was saying about the kids being gone before he came for me.He is plannin on killing me and Joel when the kids are gone from home because then they wont need me and he will be alone.I truley believe he is sick enough to lay and wait for this.I also believe he told me hes not worried about geting caught because he plans on killing himself afterwards.Thats why he is saying "when the kids are gone" If they arnt there for him anymore and theres no worries in his mind that they will need me then he sees no point in living..and that goes for me and joel too.I am taking tis threat very searious! If after 3 years he is still as meesed up as he is I truly believe he will never change.I have been telling EVERYONE that since I left in 2007.
Now I have to caerfully decide what to.
I spoke to mathew on line two nights ago and he told me that Kory was going to the prom.At lunch tme today at work I decided to go to Zellars and get him a pair of derss pants and a dress shirt and tie for it.I went to the trailor around 5:30 to give it to him and all hell broke loose.Mathew and the kids were there,and mathew came out of the living room and started yelling at me with the same vulger phrases as always.Of corse Dustan was right in tune with him.Kory just went to the sink and started doing the dishes.I knew I should have just turned and left but I felt like i was on trial and pleading for my life.They were running me down for everything they could think of,from being a whore,being just like rhonda,being a terriable mother,telling me mom and joel paid my was and took care of me,blamed me for not giving them money,acussing me of sleeping with Mike and his father Donnie and all the men how worked at the mill.You name it ..I was called it. I just couldnt leave for some reason..I wanted to but my feet wouldnt let me.Dustan told me that he was happy I was gone because I was a "fucken shitty mother" and he was happy now because he "had the life now".I was nothing but a nagging bitch and he was glad i was gone.
I told him "someday you will look back and remember how much I fought for you both then mabie you will understan what it is to love your children" he told me "im NEVER having any, you ruined that!"
Thats when mathew told me "u think they will grow up and want to see you??? Your so wrong!! Your days are numbered!! Both of yours are!! and as soon as they(the kids) are on their own you will both get whats comming to you!!!"
I asked him what he ment(even tho I was pretty sure I knew what he ment) But again he said "your days are numbered..enjoy them together while you can!"
The whole time he was teling me this I was scared to death because i knew exactly what he ment but i wasent going to let him see it in my face.I said to him ..."what are you going to do hide in the shadows then pounce like the coward you are?? He said,calmly," no....Im not worried about getting caught, thats why im waiting till they are gone and moved out"
I looked at him and said Im calling the cops and telling them you just threatned my life.He told me go ahead..im calling them too because u are here hurassing us.
I left and thought Iif I called the police then they would call CAS and they would take the kids for sure and i couldnt make the call because they would just put them in foster care then give them back to him and the kids would blame me again with nothing being accomplished. I drove back to the trailor and told mathew "I didnt call because of CAS , they will take the kids" He said "I didnt eather" I told him " I want to Sooooo bad because you deserve it ,but the kids are the ones who will suffer yeat again and I cant do that to them" I left and went to work.
While I was at work I couldnt stop playing everything over and over in my mind. I realised what he was saying about the kids being gone before he came for me.He is plannin on killing me and Joel when the kids are gone from home because then they wont need me and he will be alone.I truley believe he is sick enough to lay and wait for this.I also believe he told me hes not worried about geting caught because he plans on killing himself afterwards.Thats why he is saying "when the kids are gone" If they arnt there for him anymore and theres no worries in his mind that they will need me then he sees no point in living..and that goes for me and joel too.I am taking tis threat very searious! If after 3 years he is still as meesed up as he is I truly believe he will never change.I have been telling EVERYONE that since I left in 2007.
Now I have to caerfully decide what to.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
