Death Sentance

Its been quite a while since I last wrote.There hasent been alot of contact in the last month.Most of that time the phone at the trailor was cut off so I couldnt call the trailor at night like I use to.It has just been hooked up in the last two weeks.But I havent called it except for tonight.
I spoke to mathew on line two nights ago and he told me that Kory was going to the prom.At lunch tme today at work I decided to go to Zellars and get him a pair of derss pants and a dress shirt and tie for it.I went to the trailor around 5:30 to give it to him and all hell broke loose.Mathew and the kids were there,and mathew came out of the living room and started yelling at me with the same vulger phrases as always.Of corse Dustan was right in tune with him.Kory just went to the sink and started doing the dishes.I knew I should have just turned and left but I felt like i was on trial and pleading for my life.They were running me down for everything they could think of,from being a whore,being just like rhonda,being a terriable mother,telling me mom and joel paid my was and took care of me,blamed me for not giving them money,acussing me of sleeping with Mike and his father Donnie and all the men how worked at the mill.You name it ..I was called it. I just couldnt leave for some reason..I wanted to but my feet wouldnt let me.Dustan told me that he was happy I was gone because I was a "fucken shitty mother" and he was happy now because he "had the life now".I was nothing but a nagging bitch and he was glad i was gone.
I told him "someday you will look back and remember how much I fought for you both then mabie you will understan what it is to love your children" he told me "im NEVER having any, you ruined that!"
Thats when mathew told me "u think they will grow up and want to see you??? Your so wrong!! Your days are numbered!! Both of yours are!! and as soon as they(the kids) are on their own you will both get whats comming to you!!!"
I asked him what he ment(even tho I was pretty sure I knew what he ment) But again he said "your days are numbered..enjoy them together while you can!"
The whole time he was teling me this I was scared to death because i knew exactly what he ment but i wasent going to let him see it in my face.I said to him ..."what are you going to do hide in the shadows then pounce like the coward you are?? He said,calmly," no....Im not worried about getting caught, thats why im waiting till they are gone and moved out"
I looked at him and said Im calling the cops and telling them you just threatned my life.He told me go ahead..im calling them too because u are here hurassing us.
I left and thought Iif I called the police then they would call CAS and they would take the kids for sure and i couldnt make the call because they would just put them in foster care then give them back to him and the kids would blame me again with nothing being accomplished. I drove back to the trailor and told mathew "I didnt call because of CAS , they will take the kids" He said "I didnt eather" I told him " I want to Sooooo bad because you deserve it ,but the kids are the ones who will suffer yeat again and I cant do that to them" I left and went to work.
While I was at work I couldnt stop playing everything over and over in my mind. I realised what he was saying about the kids being gone before he came for me.He is plannin on killing me and Joel when the kids are gone from home because then they wont need me and he will be alone.I truley believe he is sick enough to lay and wait for this.I also believe he told me hes not worried about geting caught because he plans on killing himself afterwards.Thats why he is saying "when the kids are gone" If they arnt there for him anymore and theres no worries in his mind that they will need me then he sees no point in living..and that goes for me and joel too.I am taking tis threat very searious! If after 3 years he is still as meesed up as he is I truly believe he will never change.I have been telling EVERYONE that since I left in 2007.
Now I have to caerfully decide what to.